In my heart you're always the first
by gioiagc
Summary: Barney is going to marry Nora. Robin becomes his secret lover. she's the number two. It hurts her because she has still feelings for him. With some little spoilers about 7 season and some sexual contents
1. Chapter 1 Just a Lover

** a lover**

It's happened again. Many times. It all began three weeks ago. One long strange night. Robin felt so lonely and confused, empty. It was only a week after she broke up with Kevin, and she knew the reason, although if she tried to hide it also to herself. She was in love with the wrong guy. Barney Stinson. Her ex boyfriend. They didn't work out together, they are selfish and dysfunctional to each other. First of all he has a girlfriend now. A lovely woman, Nora. She acts like his mother and takes care of him. He changed a lot for her. Anyway he seems very happy with her, his life becomes quit and so normal when she's around. Robin Is her co-worker, she made sure that he met her, then encouraged him in this relationship. And now she hates Nora as much as herself to what she's done.

But this night, in his flat, the time seems to be stopped, all seems to be perfect, her mind is empty. Her heart beats strong, she is keeping him so close to shake his soul and inflame his body with the force of a storm. He's touching something behind her surface that scares her a lot. He didn't say a word but just kissed her all the time, she can feel his mouth softly on her, his hands that are sliding down her back. He smells good. His eyes are closed so he can't see her eyes, this is good because her eyes are full of tears, she doesn't know why.

Suddenly he tenderly hugs her close, deeply, like if she would be the only one. But she isn't. She isn't the most important in his heart, she isn't his girl, she isn't the 'one' that was made for him. She isn't nothing at all. She just has sex with him, because is better than nothing. Better than feel him far away, in another unreachable place where she doesn't exist. She's stuff that he uses when he wants, without worries about her. She isn't so fragile after all. She's strong and brave. Actually she isn't a girl. Doesn't she?

Instead to cry, she grabs his face to kiss him heavily, she takes him close to her like she doesn't want to let him go away this time. She doesn't want that also this time him comes back to her. He lied to Nora and he lied to her too. Maybe he's lying also to himself. Who knows. Stupid, idiot. She would to argue with him to screaming on his face all that she wants. But she can't. She love him desperately. Is it not pathetic? Maybe yes. She lets herself to pretend to be just a lover for him, a girl who doesn't like to create problems. A girl who have fun with, a girl who play with, together they can be just who they really are, with their flaws and their mistakes, without inhibitions. "Can be easy." She thought, but she's wrong. It's hurting so much, it's killing her. But he doesn't understands, insensitive bastard. He can't knows women 's feelings even if he has seduced a lot of them.

While they are doing it she is completely invaded by the pleasure together with the sadness, she can't restrain a sigh, she screams as usual, but she can't call his name, it's a word alien and brutal as a lie. They still can't talk or look in the eyes each other. As if orgasm is everything they have to say. While his body is filled with joy his heart has a wince and a shiver runs through it entirely. Her head on his shoulder. Maybe he has realized. He has known something is wrong. He has felt that something is changing. Does Robin put too much or too little passion? Does she keep him close with growing affection?

"This is crazy. We'll have to stop it. I'll marry in two months. You Know." He sounds serious when says something like these. To her he's just ridiculous. She hears him speaks about "How is worried about her". Liar. That "He doesn't want to hurt her like he did in the past." So liar. Then that "He has to go because she could be waiting for him". Damned Liar.

If she was smarter she would have chosen Ted. He's great, a romantic good boy. He would never do something like this. She could not behaves like that with him. He would have been perfect for her, but they want different things. She feels that she wants to talk to him right now, she wants to throw out all over with someone she trusts, but then she feels dirty, and she knows he wouldn't understand.

And she feels alone, totally. Although he is still there, he's staring at her as if he could takes some meaning in her eyes. she wants to cry a lot, but she can't, not in front of him, not so. She's actually angry with him but especially with herself.

She wonders how she becomes so ... maybe has she lost respect for herself? Why does it allow this? Why does it allow him all? He shouldn't always win, that's enough. It can't go in this way.

The course of his thoughts is interrupted by his unexpected kindness, he touches her face gently, he's apologizing, she can read it in his eyes. "I'm so sorry Robin. I don't want make you cry in this way. I don't know exactly the reason but I think I'm the guilty of your pains. I know it's hard but forgive me, if you can. Maybe not today, maybe one day…" He suddenly sounds really embarrassed and sad.

Robin realizes that she's crying, she's ashamed of herself. "It's not you, I mean, it's me, I'm strange, I can't pretend to be happy tonight. I can't. I don't want you to go away, not now, not in this way. I don't know, it's stupid because you are with another woman, you want to marry her, but…what about us?"

"…What about you!...Do You remember? Was just a game of seduction, you started first ...I didn't want…there was a deal. No feelings. Just physically emotions, just sex. "

Her cheeks blush, she feels so stupid ... "I know… but" … She can't speak more, her heart broke in pieces.

Suddenly she understands that it's true, he's right, she couldn't ask for anything more, he had not promised anything after all. She insisted to get him back in a desperate attempt to got close to him. She acted like a bitch. She had hurt Nora and she had hurt herself as well. This is the right punishment.

"I told you, Robin, you was playing with fire, and now you're sad and I feel guilty, because I have been to the game knowing that it was a mistake, but in spite of everything I can't stay away from you as I would like..." Him says.

"Maybe has it a meaning? Don't you think? After all, you are about to marry Nora, why are you with me tonight? Why your body wants mine so much? Ask yourself if you are enough brave to do it." Now she raises his voice and tears are flowing on her face.

He's actually angry now, maybe furious, He clearly wants to leave. He put his clothes on and stands up in front of her.

"Why are you doing this to me? I thought we were friends first of all. Don't you want to see me happy? We can't be together, we have just tried and we failed, have you forget? I'm not the right guy for you. I'm not good enough. I'm not Ted. Nobody can be like Ted for you, don't you?" He's also screaming too.

"Two simple friends don't have sex. Two friends aren't looking at each other with the same intensity with which we do…I don't know what you mean about Ted …He has nothing to do with this. We broke up years ago, are you jealous?" She sobs then goes on. "I want you are happy, but why with her? You made any change for her, you won every difficult, you made everything possible to her. You forgot yourself and your life style. You became different, you want to be a better man for her…" She's just stops her words. She can't go on. She can't make the 'question': "why you didn't try so hard with me too? Why you didn't do the same things for me? "She could be like an egoistic child.

She stares on the ground instead, without emotions, she's almost trembling. She realizes it's cold in the room. It's probably the atmosphere that it's created between them. She grabs his shirt from the seat and wears it quickly because she suddenly feels naked, not only physically, she's ashamed, she's defeated.

He looks so different now, in silence, as if he's waiting for her surrender. He has a smile on his lips, a sad grin. he observes her, he's waiting for her next move. She doesn't want to be seen naked a moment longer, she finds her jeans and she wears them too.

He seems honest now while he's speaking about the other girl. "It's all true, so what? She s' sweet and wonderful with me, she makes me loved, she protects me, she gives me the power to win myself, to do better. She's taking care of me like I'm the perfect man. But I don't, we both know this. I'm an asshole. A terrible person if compared with her. She's so perfect, so good in everything she does. And what about me? I'm a stupid that cheats her with one of my best friends."

"actually you're not as good as a boyfriend, you know? … But you're not so bad after all." She's kidding and sadly smiling at him. If this continues he will understand what she truly feels for him, she can't admit it openly, not when he speaks of another girl in that way, and then the emotions aren't stuff for her. So she jokes in order to change the atmosphere between them. She's found her self control, she feels a little calmer now.

He pretends to smile, sighs, sits on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands, he seems so tired. It's seems that it's not only hurting her, if she changes point of view, she can see the shadows on his heart. She thinks she crossed the line, in the end she feels as guilty as him.

"This is why we can't work out, it's always a fight with you…it's so complicated…but with her it's just calm and happiness. You know? But I really take care of you. You are my bro, my best friend, the most beautiful sexy woman I've ever known. The most strong and brave. Why are you acting like this? Do you seem to have some feelings for me… isn't It? You can be honest, if you want to…" he holds her hand, she's on her knees near to him now. She can't be honest if he still prefers someone else. She is so good to denial his real feelings that now is became an habit for her.

"No, no, no…I'm just, you know, nostalgic or something like that, I confess that sometime you miss me a lot…that's all, nothing more…" She laughs, she's pretending to be someone else.

"Scherbatsky this is really weird from you!" He seems amused, perhaps surprised by her words. He wants to say something, it seems important but it's lost in the space of a moment. His cell phone rings. Once, twice, three times. And Robin is annoying to see how he answers, calmly, without hesitation, for a moment she gets angry again, then forget it. It doesn't matter. He's telling a fantastic story about a business trip or something like that ... he tells Nora that soon he will be back and they can see each other. When he closes the call she is turned, she's picked up the bag and the rest of her stuffs, this time she'll go first.

"Well, bye, see you at McLaren's," she doesn't turn to look at him, because she knows that she can shatter herself If she does, she walks faster to the lobby. She slams the door and go out. He didn't say a word, he only looked at her when she leaved. This time he couldn't blame her.


	2. Chapter 2 Friends and Mistakes

** and mistakes**

The day after she doesn't go at the bar as usually does, and neither for the rest of that week. Ted is worried about her and tries to speak to her but she doesn't want, she just pushes him away of her room and passes her evenings watching some movies or just lying in bed.

Then Lily calls at the phone. Robin is happy to hear her.

"Hi Lily, how are you?"she simply answers.

"I'm fine. You know. But How are you? We're so worried about you, Marshall asks me about you all the time. We haven't seen you in weeks. … Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm just too busy with my work and a little tired." She lies.

"Are you sure? Because I don't think so…"Lily says.

"And what do you think Lily?"

"I know you very well, you know. In the last month you acted weird. I do think that you are in troubles but you really don't want to speak about this." Damned Lily, she understands her so much.

"…and?" Robin asks.

"And you actually can tell me about your problems if you want to. I'm here for you. I want to help you if it's possible."She's so sweet, just a good friend. She wants to speak with Lily about it all, but it's really hard.

"Unfortunately you can't help me."Robin admits.

"Why? I can understand you, Robin."

"I know, but it's something really complicated to explain, and it's really difficult to justify and to forgive."

"I don't want to judge you, I just want to help you."

Robin thinks about last month and she fells someone that really needs help. She suddenly says openly;

"I have a big problem, I'm acting like a stupid bitch."

"What does it mean?"Lily sounds surprised.

"I'm having sex with this guy. He's great for me but he is engaged, so, I mean…it's weird."

Lily sighs, then speaks again: "This guy you're speaking about … do you still have feelings for him? Because if he is who I know, this is really bad for you. We have spoken about him and this sounds a terrible idea…"

"This is why I don't want to speak about this, you are just giving me your opinion but you can't really understand me. You just think I'm wrong. And I know I'm wrong. I know it very well. But I can't act in a different way now. Oh Lily, I'm…I'm so confused, what Have I do?" She is really sad now. She almost sobs.

"Oh, dear, I'm so sorry…I know that I am usually bad to keep secrets, but I promise that this time I don't speak about this with anybody else. It's our secret, ok? Do you know what I think?That you need I come there with you. And I'll come. I don't mean you're wrong I'm just worry about you, it's hurting you so much I think. See you in an hour."

Then Lily comes like she promised to Ted's apartment, Ted isn't in. He is teaching at the University. She makes a good tea for her suffering friend. It's very strange to see Robin in that way. She doesn't speak about him, but Lily knows that it's more than one year that everything is about Barney in Robin's life, she wonders if her realizes this, if him realizes this. She hopes Robin can feels better with her so close.

She looks Lily in the eyes: "Thanks, I'm so pathetic in these days, don't you think? Usually I'm controlled and strong, I'm not like a sentimental child that doesn't does anything else that just crying and complaining. I'm ashamed of myself".

"You haven't. I know how you can feeling. Love it's the more strange and complicated thing in the world, and especially for you…"

"Wait, wait, what doesn't it mean 'especially for me'?"asks Robin.

"Nothing…just that this kind of sentimental troubles are not your habit, aren't in your typical life style. You usually don't act like this, you know."

Wait. It's true. She isn't her. She isn't like that. She has to find herself again.

"You are right. I'm so sorry. I promise that I'll be better from now. And tonight I'll come at McLaren's. I swear."

She actually seems to feel a little better, Lily is more quit now, she is reassured about Robin said.

"So I hope to see you tonight. I've to go to work now." And hugs Robin tight.

"Ok, bye…Ah..Lily, now you can say it. What is actually your advice?"Robin says calm.

"You know. You have to stop it. Just now. Before it can be too late. Before it's hurts you too deeply. Before it's ruins his life. He's going to marry another woman, in a month. And he probably doesn't feel like you if he still wants to marry her…bye". And while she's saying this she gives a fast kiss on the Robin's cheek.

Her words hurt so much because these contains that real truth that Robin hadn't the strength to see until now. She totally agrees with Lily. She's clearly right. They have to stop their affair as soon as possible. When she'll meet him she has to be apart from him, for their safe.

Then Robin is at McLaren's that evening, all it's the same. Ted and Marshall are kidding about football teams and Barney and Nora are sitting, she's speaking about weddings, he seems away with his mind, and he is drinking a lot, Robin 's kidding with the guys and she's drinking her third scotch. Nobody has refereed about her long absence. It's ok for her, thanks Lily. She's really hot with a purple skirt, a stretch blue shirt and black boots. She noticed his eyes on her body many times that night, but she tried to ignores him.

When she goes to the bathroom something strange happens. She looks in the mirror and sees him near the door. He's waiting for her. She walks slowly towards the door, tries to forget him. But when she's close, he holds her hand, he looks at her, smiling. Robin knows that look. Oh no! Not now! Not more! She's a bit drunk, this doesn't help her. She smiles too.

"What… Barney? Let me go away from here!"

"I can't do it. You know…it's been two long weeks without you."

He grabs her arm with the other hand and puts her on the wall near the door, he bends his head to hers and whispers softly in her ear "I really miss you".

She tries to stop him, she feels her breath increases like her heart beat. Suddenly he presses her lips on hers and kisses her deeply. In a moment she's out of breath. She's excited. She's lost. But she tries hard to remain motionless, she freezes. When she doesn't kiss him back he stops and looks at her for a minute.

"What?" He says.

"We have to stop this, now. I said Let me go away from here!" She sounds sure, good.

"It's funny that you say this but you are so wet just here, you lie, you desire me in the same way I desire you." And saying this he inserts his hand between her legs, below her skirt, she sighs.

His blue eyes is tempting her, damned, it's true, she wants him with all herself. He's smiling while she presses her body near him and kisses him. Then she tries to push him away but she can't. She tries to breath more and says " No. Please …stop, no. Let me go. Don't torture me … Don't… aaah ….just don't …" but it's too late. He 's fucking her hardly, on the wall, with still their clothes on, her refuse seems to increase their excitation. The sex is wonderful. They go on behind the door of a toilet to hide themselves. And quickly the flames are extinguished. They hugs a little more, he looks at her, he puts a sweet kiss on her shoulder skin discovered by shirt, then he gets calm and goes first.

She remains in the toilet a bit more, she's weird, it was beautiful but she's a little upset. She's waiting that her heart beat and her breath decrease and fortunately they're getting normal. After she feels happy and drunk. Her head turning around. She has to go before that some friend come to find her. So she fast walks out of there and sit on their usual booth in the bar, the others are speaking about stupid things and seems don't notice her. She and Barney can't look in their eyes. Lily can see this and suddenly she knows, she looks at Robin that just sit in silence and looking in her eyes she nods sadly.


	3. Chapter 3 Misunderstandings

She meets Ted for a drink during the week, he invited her, he seems worried.

"Ehi, Robin are you ok in these days? If you need something you just ask me…"

She laughs, "I'm good ok? Stop worry about me, you just find your right girl like it's your plan."

"Maybe I've already found her."

Really? And? When you introduce herself to us? I want to meet her."

"She's just here?"He says.

"What does it means?" She's surprised and she really doesn't still understand him.

Suddenly a strange thing happens again to Robin, he gets close to her and he's hugging her, then he kisses her. In that moment she's shocked and her react is slowly. Then she pushes him away from her.

"What are you doing? We're just friend. What the hell come in your mind now?"

"But we're always together and…I don't know, we were good together. I just thought that you can feeling in the same way of me. "

"I'm so sorry Ted, but I don't." This is very bad. He seems deeply hurt.

"I don't want to destroy our friendship, you know. I'm really sorry, forgive me…" She says.

"No, you forgive me, you don't have fault in this, It's me. I'm wrong."

"Oh, Ted, dear…don't take this too bad, please…it's not for you…"

"For what? Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No, but this doesn't mean I can lie to you."

"I know, I have to go now."

And he runs away from there. She sit still shocked, she's so afraid to lose her best friend now.

Barney is changing his mind, he wants to see Robin just that day to say something important to her, he's happy and he's going fast to McLaren's, waiting for her, but when he enters the bar he stops suddenly in an edge, freezing, seeing what it is happening, at their usual booth there are Robin and Ted, they're hugged and he's kissing her. She doesn't seem to dislike it. He remains there just some minutes, then he goes faster out of there. Maybe he's wrong right now. He's chosen the right tie after all, he wants to wears her soon. When he thinks "tie" he means "girl" clearly. He's mind is complicated. His wedding will be good anyway. He's sure. He wants to see his beautiful girlfriend just now and forget anything else.

Robin realizes that the only solution to her problem with Mr Stinson is to avoid him as often as possible. Now she's embarrassed also with Ted. She so decides to remain in her room and at work the most of her time.


	4. Chapter 4 Suspicions

**4. Suspicions**

Ted realizes that his ex Victoria was right, that can't work out after all. Robin, him and Barney, night after night to have fun together at McLaren's, it's really weird. Ted still has feeling for her but she hasn't. And Barney always tries to seduce her also he has a good girlfriend now. It's weird and bad. For the first time in years he doesn't want to see two of his best friends. Luckily when he enters McLaren's that evening neither of them is in. Just Nora sit alone with a drink in silence. She looks at nothing in front of her, she seems really upset.

"Ehi, Nora, what's up?"

She seems suddenly like she wakes up in that minute."Oh, Ted! Hi, I'm ok thanks." She sounds sad.

"Why do you are here alone? Where's Barney?"

"I don't know. Maybe at work. Anyway I can come also alone here."She smiles.

"Sure, it's great to see you!"

"You're always kind with me, thanks Ted."

"Can you ask you something weird?" she says.

"You can ask me what you want, baby". He jokes.

"It's about Robin and Barney. You know. Their relationship."

"Ok, what do you want to know? We have just said you the most of their story and their broke up".

"If I understand they were still in love when broke up but they can't be together without hurt each other.

"Yes, but then they moved on. She had a lot of different boyfriends and, well, Barney chose you."

"Or maybe they are just pretending to move on." She says almost whispering.

"What do you mean?" I'm really careful to her now.

"He was asleep near me last night. I think he had a nightmare or something like that. I hugged him to calm down. Then he called her in a whisper."

"Who?"

"Robin."

"Oh, well, maybe he was dreaming about us. I don't think you have to give it too much weight."

"From that night, when is asleep. He sounds sad and whispers her name many times. He doesn't know and I never told him."

"Oh…"Ted was without words. "It's really weird this. I understand why you are so worry now."

"I'm not worry, I just in doubt about him and about us. You know. Maybe we're make a mistake. Maybe it's wrong marry him so soon… I don't know."

In his mind all becomes clear, Robin's surely refuse, her acting of the last month. Barney and his strange acting too. Their looks to each other. Their silence. Her absence from the group of friends. If his suspicions are true his friend Barney has to explains many things, damned him. He can't reveals what he suspects to Nora, so he just tries to be kind with her.

"Maybe it hasn't the meaning you can think. Maybe you can try to speak to him about this."

"I don't know. I just feel unsure now. I don't think I can speak about this openly with him. Even if he hides it. He's still much emotional about Robin's stuffs. I'm not a stupid, Ted. I've always known this, but I want him because I love him and I'm ready to fight for him".

"Yes, but I think he takes care of you and you don't have to worry too much. He's a lucky boy because of your strong feeling for him. Robin is his past after all, you are his future."

Ted tries to comfort her but he knows well that he's probably lying to her. When it's speaking about those two guys nothing is like pretend to be. Then he leaves. He has to find Barney to speak with him seriously. He takes a cab to Barney's flat but he doesn't in, so Ted goes away thinking about speak with him next morning.


	5. Chapter 5 Without her

**5. Without her**

He's knocking at her door violently, Lily runs toward the door. "What? Who is it?" She screams.

When opens the door she remains in silent seeing Barney Stinson in front of her, completely wet by rain, with a look really shocked on his face.

"Ehi, Barney, what about you? What's happened?"

"She's gone."

"Who?Do you mean Nora?"

"No. I mean Robin."

"What does 'she's gone' mean? Where she can go? And Why?"

"I'm an asshole so she's gone. I don't know where. I hoped you can know".

"No, I don't. But what's damned happened between you two?"

"I slept with her again."

"Oh, no, damned Barney, what the hell have in your mind? You'll merry Friday."

"I know. I almost forced her. She didn't want at the begin but I insisted, it was hard and bad for her, she 's just crying after a little. She shouted against me after. She said really bad things about us I don't believe true and then she's gone and said me not to find her again."

Lily looks at him very bad, then slaps hard in his face. She's very angry now.

"Why do you act in this way with her? She's my best friend and you make her cry all the time… If it happens something bad to her, I won't forgive you this time."

He sadly smile. "I've already heard this."

"When?"

"This morning I have fight with Ted and he said the same thing. Seems that He have still some feelings for her, you know…He believes to be her knight…"He sounds ironic about this.

"Wait…wait...are you fight? It's mad…and are you saying that Ted is in love with Robin again?" This explains his black eye.

"Yes, we have. I saw they kiss each other one day ago. Probably she is in love with him too, you know that there aren't other boys like him to her…he's the best.."

"What? Why do you think this? She's just slept with you. Doesn't she?" He's very blind about Robin feelings. Poor her!

"This doesn't matter…it's just sex. Not romantic thing. I mean." Nothing to do with him. He doesn't understand.

"And what about Nora? Do you remember her? She's your future wife."

"She's fine. She doesn't know nothing about this. She's still In love with me."He grin.

"Are you mad? She loves you because you lie to her all the times. She doesn't know who you really are.

You, damned son of the bitch!" She really angry, she's screaming against him now.

"I'll merry her in spite of everything, I'll change my life." He insists.

"This is crazy. Are you become insane? You can't. Definitely you can't merry her now."

"Why?"

"What does it means? Are you kidding? You can't because you lie to her and to yourself, you don't love her and betray her all the time. This is why you can't!"

"So what? If I want to do it you won't stop me!"

"Ok, I won't. You are right, you're an asshole!" And she turn back to see Marshall in the room that in silence sees what happens.

"Marshall, dear, Robin is gone cause of this idiot. We have to find her."


	6. Chapter 6 When you find the love

**6. When you find the love**

It's raining and a storm is coming to New York. She has packed a lot of her stuffs in a bag and she's walking along the street to find a cab to reach the airport to go somewhere. She's confused and angry. She felt hurt and lost her mind. She actually yelled to him all her desperation, all her fear. He insisted to get laid with her again. He was weird to her. He thought only to himself more than usual, forgetting her feelings. He seemed angry about something but he couldn't admit what with her. He took her body with more strength and no respect. He still doesn't understand that she belongs to him, she's always been, before Nora, before this affair, before their past failed relationship, before his feelings to her, maybe before to met him. They are two sides of the same medal. The umbrella 's remained in her apartment so she 's completely wet now. Her phone rings a lot of times. She puts it in a bin and past over. Her friends are looking for her. She knows. She loves them so much. She doesn't want to see them in this conditions. She doesn't love herself like that. She doesn't want to be shattered by Mr Stinson like lots of stupid bimbos in his life. She can change her mind. She can forget him and go on with her life. She wants to find a new job, a new country to live, a new life with different people. People don't know her so much. People who she can lay again to pretend to be the most strong and brave woman in the world. A woman that doesn't falling in love with a jerk. A woman able to put herself first of all. A woman that doesn't believe in men, in love, in happy family. A woman that doesn't believe in Barney Stinson eyes when he says that he takes care of her, when he says that he can understand her, and when he says that when he let a day go by without talking to her, that day is just no good. He is the most sweet and gross person he knows at the same time. The most gently, lovely man, with blue eyes, nice suits, the most funny and generous. Sometimes the bad cruel stupid idiot in the world about her. She's cold and she feel lonely this time. Without him her is like a little child without parents and this is weird and hard to admitting. She's crazy. Sure. She has to forget him as soon as possible. Then she takes a cab and goes to the airport knowing nothing about where she wants to go or what she wants to do.

Barney Stinson is really worried now. She's actually gone. His friends doesn't were able to find her and two days are passed. It's all his fault. The joke isn't funny so longer. He wants to see her fine. He wants to apologies for being so jerk and stupid with her. He's so sorry. He doesn't want to hurt her, but he always does. Maybe him is the worse man for her. That is just why he wanted let her goes on with her life without him. He couldn't able to be with her like he have would to be. But he can't denied to himself that she is the woman of his dreams. Her long straight brown hair. Her perfect and sexy body. Her elegance. Her smile. Her funny sense of humor no typical from a woman. Her bravery. Her fragility. Her red soft lips. Her big expressive eyes. God. He miss her so much. And it's raining all day long for the storm. What if is she somewhere alone and afraid? She never admitted that but she often is. What if does something bad happen to her? She's very able with guns and she's like a warrior sometimes. But she was so bad when she left. He's freaking out about her. He needs to find Robin before something bad happens. She's alone and confused. She doesn't knows neither that he broke up with Nora yesterday, follows Lily's advice. He can't marry another woman. He can't to be fine with another woman. And he can't love another woman in the same deeply way he loves her. He never said to her. Stupid. He have to. She is somewhere alone and doesn't know what he feels inside his heart to her. Lily is angry with him and cry all the time for her best friend. This doesn't help him to feel better. He cleared things also with Ted. He tried again with Robin, but she didn't want to get together again with him. Barney didn't understand but the last time he saw her he was furious about that kiss, and jealous too. He knows how good boy Ted is. He knows he can be better for her. He doesn't hurt her so much. He doesn't act so weird. He doesn't make her cry. He takes care Robin a lot too. Maybe he loves her. "But Robin doesn't love Ted." Lily said angrily "She loves you. Idiot." He nodded sadly and realizes suddenly how bad he has been with Robin in the lasts months.

She didn't take the plane two days ago, The storm was really bad and it can't leave. She thought to go away, very far, maybe in Japan or in another country where she could find an interesting work as a journalist, or she could go home in Canada but then seem to her really weird ideas. She waited a lot in the airport, then she takes a cab again. She didn't come back anyway because she couldn't. She couldn't see him again. She just past storm dangerous time in an hotel room, alone. Eating some chips in front of boring television programs between a black out and the other. Without cell phone or other contacts with the rest of the world. She said at work that she went to her parents in Canada and they believed her, so they didn't looked for her. Sure her friends did but they can't know that she was in that hotel. She feels depressed and doesn't know how she can come back like nothing's happen. She's too pride to admit that she feels lonely and wants to be with her friends during this storm and after her problems with Barney. She asks herself suddenly how does he feel about her disappeared. Maybe he's worry about her. She hopes so. It's what he deserves. Suddenly she desires to hear his voice says her name, softly. A tear falls on her sweater. Then she fall asleep. After two hours she wakes up feeling bad. She feels sick, she probably got the flu, she feels cold and her forehead burned for the fever. That's no good to her that night, in that sad hotel room, alone. While the rain is beating against windows without stops. She starts shiver and thinks that something awful can happen to her. Nobody knows where she is. Suddenly this scares her a lot. God. She miss him so much.

Mister Stinson is able to resolve mystery and find solutions to hard problems. He always has his means. She can't be vanished. Planes didn't flay from a few days because of the storm, so she's still in the country. She's just hiding herself in some secret place. She's just lost her phone maybe. And surely doesn't have a pc. He tried to write her e-mails and on web a lot of times without answers. She's probably alone because all her friends and co-workers seems don't know where she is. Better, some of them think that she is back in Canada for a while but he tried to call her family and nobody heard her from a lot of time. He looked for her in all places her prefers and anywhere they went together when they was a couple. But nothing. He calls the hospitals in the city. Nobody has heard her name luckily. He can't surrender until he finds her. Suddenly he remembered the night they come back together from the bar, he's going to marry Nora in two months, she tried to seduced him. He tried to resist a little but after her third seductive smile he surrendered to her and kissed her. They were in a cab along the street for his flat but he couldn't want to go there because maybe Nora could find him in. So she saw a little hotel at the right corner in the street and suggested that place. Who knows the reason, maybe to be sure that it all was perfectly wrong in their affair, also the place.

She is lying in bed staring at the ceiling trying to sleep when she hears his voice calls her. It's impossible. But the voice is getting much loud now. She thinks about she's dreaming. She feels knocking at the door. She opens her eyes and with difficult tries to stand up from bad. She's on the point of falling cause of she's tired and so sick. Slowly walks towards the door. It's true. He's calling her behind the door. How the hell has he found her? She's weak and trembling now. She needs to see him in spite of he's wrong and she was really angry with him. But doesn't matter now. He's finally here. He found her. He takes care of her. She hold the handle and turn the key, the door is fast opened. He stares at her with an expression very worried in his face, maybe shocked and surprised finally to see her in that place, in that way. He noticed her pale skin, puffy, wet and red eyes, that she's laying on the door to be able to remain stand up in front of him. But she seems very tired and weak, on the point of falling. He can clearly see that she has cried alone in that room, suddenly he feels all his fault, and he needs to help her now, that she seems so upset and sick.

"Robin, I looked for you everywhere and finally here you are. I was so worried about you. All of us were."

She can't able to find the words. She just says "Yes, I'm here. How did you find me?"

"I remembered our first night after Nora, this is the same room of that time. You know."

"I know. It's a little bit sad, doesn't it?" She seems embarrassed now.

"Don't you want to come back with me? We all miss you. I'm really sorry for…for all things happens between us..It's..it's all my fault." It's hard to admitting mistakes for him.

"It actually is." She says with a little smile on her lips.

"Ehi! Don't try to take advantages to my apologies Scherbatsky." He jokes.

"Eh he he..no, no, I don't. I can't come with you now anyway."

"Why? Are you still angry with me?"

"I'm always angry with you. You're an idiot. I can't come because I need to rest just now."She smiles again then she seems actually of the point of falling on the floor for the tiredness.

He grabs her arms and hugs her tight, she sighs and leans her head on his chest. His closeness seems to relieve her. Then he comforts her caressing gently her hair. She's trembling a lot. He put his jacket off and put it on her shoulders. She closes her eyes. Then he hold her hand.

"You really need the bed Robin. Now" He says. He kisses her forehead then disbelieved says "You burns!".

"I'm from Canada. We are strong people…you know…" She weakly says.

"Yes, I know but I also know that you need to rest and some cares," He insists.

He carries her to bed. "You need a doctor, I can go to call him. And I have to go to take medicines for you."

She seems afraid now. "Don't go."She whispers.

"What?"He asks.

"Please don't go. I really need you here."Finally she doesn't be ashamed to admit that she needs him.

"..but you're really bad, I have to do something…"He says confused.

"You can just remain with me…close to me…" She seems like a child on the point of crying now.

He thinks a lot then says" Ok, honey, I'm here. But you promise me that tomorrow morning I can call my doctor to visit you in my flat. And tonight I remain here if you take a pill for the fever that I'll give you. What do you think? Deal?"

"Deal. Seems ok." She says, then smiling add " You called me honey…I hate nicknames but…this sounds sweet…maybe because I'm sick…"

He smiles back. "Why don't you try to sleep a little now?"

She looks at him with a silently request. He understands without other words.

He put himself laying close to her, under the blankets, he hugs tenderly her, a hand on her head, the other around her waist holding her hand, his face near her head, their body so close that she can feels better, very comfortable and warm. She turns her face towards him, she looks into his eyes and says an honest "thanks" and put a little kiss on his lips. Then she falls asleep, she seems really quiet and peaceful now. He look at her for more of that night, she seems so beautiful. He really can see her just sleeping like that for all the rest of his life. It's good thinking about his good effect to her. It's good when you are so important to someone. Better if is someone you love too. He still doesn't say to her that he broke up with Nora. He still doesn't say to her how much he loves her. Then he feels tired and involved in that contact with her, the sweet smell of her skin, the soft touch of his hair, the warm of her hand, her weak breathing, her heart beat near his heart. For the first time in his life he can feel happiness exists, he can believe in miracles.

Then is sleeping and dreaming about her. She's smiling and holding his hand, they are walking around the city, she seems happy. He actually wants to make her happy. He can be a different man. A better man for her. He only want to take her safe and protected.

When he wakes up they are still hugged, she's smiling during the sleep, he gets closer to her and whisper in her ear " I actually love you, Robin Scherbatsky, I don't want to stay with nobody else, just with you. I broke up with Nora." She seems hears him and turns a little her head, she answers maybe a little sleepy.

"It's great. If you marry another woman I'll have to kill you. You know" She practically jokes.

Then she says "I love you too…you always known…"

"I didn't know"

" Ok, you know now, but don't expect from me that I can say it more than one time".

"I'd like to hear you say it again…"he's smiling.

"I don't think so. It's enough."She laughs.

"Ok…but just for now Scherbatsky, because you're sick. I want to make you so happy that you'll want to tell me again what you feel deeply in your heart"

"I really hope you'll do, Mr Stinson."

Then He hugs her like if she can be the only one in the world for him.

And actually she is.

The storm is over.


End file.
